flashlights

so last night i was heading up to the campground after being down in the hopping town of two harbors. it was extremely dark, which made the stars that much more amazing. i couldn't find my headlamp, so all i had was this crappy little flashlight. it was pretty worthless. it barely lit the path in front of my feet. i tried to shine it into the darkness ahead of me, but it just seemed to make it worse. so, i just pointed it at the ground right in front of my feet...cause i guess that's all i really need, right...to see where my foot is about to step. maybe it's just curiousity or thinking about walking into the black unknown...but my natural inclination was to want to see far beyond what i could actually see with this tiny flashlight. but i knew where i was headed...my destination was the campground that was a ways up the hill. i knew i would get there, but only one step at a time. the analogy became so clear to me. it was so much like life. and that verse in psalm 119 flashed into my mind. the one about God's word being a lamp to our feet and a light to our paths. then i thought about my future. it's like my life was that path. the campground, the place where i was seeking to get to, is my dreams, my passion, my place in this world, who i was created to be, and what i was created to do. i trust that eventually i will get there, but my eyesight doesn't allow me to see anything besides the ground right in front of me. my mind skipped off to november when i will be jobless...and quite honestly, i have no idea what i will be doing. i trust that the Lord won't leave me high and dry and homeless...but when i really think about it, i get a little anxious. just because i don't know. it's stepping into that unknown. (which, i must admit, there is a certain level of excitement and adventure in that! but still...it weighs on my heart)
a friend of mine here in california recently shared the verse in proverbs that says something to the effect of how we determine our course, but the Lord plans our steps. there is definitely comfort in that...especially for a girl who is asking that question yet again, where am i going? and what am i going to do with my life?

california

i guess this means that my move out west is now official! i'm not gonna lie, it was a little bit strange taking the illinois plates off my car yesterday...but at least i won't be driving on expired out-of-state plates any longer. and...as if i wasn't already certain about it, it's been confirmed that the department of motor vehicles is one of my least favorite places to spend any amount of my time. to make matters worse, i had to return again this morning to retake the written test because i failed it the first time. whoops!